theres this group of elitist hypocrites among music lovers....mostly theyre the metal heads...for these i have two words ...grow up.....u do ot know music....else u wdnt accept one type of music...and reject another....im not talkin bout specific songs here.....i understand ppl not likin a song bcos they cannot relate to its sentiments....but what i cannot understand is ppl dislikin an ntire genre on principle.....Who the hell are u man...?what gives u the rite ...to PRETEND that one type of music is inferior to another.....u sum God brother...?dont luk down on those who like a different type of music to u ...bigoted fool...every type of music is a sacred thing..sacred to the one who wrote it...sang it...sacred to the one who listens to it...u cum in here with ur half baked sense of music...and start dissin rap hip hop and trance jus bcos U think its beneath u ...WHO are u ...?u have no rite..no rite to diss msic u have not botherd to appreciate...everything ...EVERYTHING is music....an expression of feelin..i admit u may ot be able to relate....i hardly xpect u to like "Ridin Dirty" or whatever...but..ull realise this when u get older...perhaps ..i hope so anyways...for ur sake...Every bit of music ...comes from an ocean.....and to reject an entire river.....is to sho ...ignorance..bigotry...ad a lack of culture...

Its bin a while innit.?Last post was qute a whle ago..my apologies..ive bin a bit busy..newez..ive bin meanin to rite bout summat for a while now...ok...here we go.....
Music....ill be frank wit u ...i dont get hi on weed pot hash beer or any other thing for that matter...but i do get hi on music...its like a drug...i know drug isnt the rite word here...or mebbe it is ...a lil mor on that in my next blog...newez...music is my solace..my safe refuge..my haven..when the problems of the world get too much for me ..i find comfort in music...heres the thing....music is alive..it has a soul...it can alter moods..make u cry ...make u weep..make u feel brave...the kind of music u listen to ..defines u .....tell me the music u listen to ...and ill tell u the kind of man u are.... i cannot imagin life without music...life without it ...aint worth living brother....u want poetry...?forget Shakespeare...forget wordsworth....listen to the brilliant ppl out there in the world TODAY..rite here rite now...Isnt it jus amazin ..the way somebody uve never never met...can write words...and a tune...that seems like it was written for u ...and u alone.....music is like that glove theyre always tryin to invent...a glove that fits perfectly ..no matter ...who u are....what uve dun....it fits....Fits so well u wanna say...Im home...

u know..whenever i go for a competition...or an exam....or anything that i consider importan for that matter...i prepare ...i prepare...till i cant prepare anymore.......i prepare till ive reached a point when i know ...that ive done ...everything...everything in my power...to make sure i do NOT fail at whatever it is im goin to do.....heres an example to ilustrate my point....In my tenth ..board exams... i got ninety percent...while this may seem like a lot to the casual observer....those who knew me..who knew the way id studied..\the track record i had maintaind...knew it wasnt what i shudda got...after the boards......all my frends....what happend ...?what happend....?howdya lose those marks.....?..hmm...i reckon they imagind id spend sleepless nites tossing and turnin....thinkn bout how come i didnt get more...but the truth is...i slept perfectly fine..thank u very much....cos i knew...i knew i had worked..to the maximun ....i knew i cud not hav done more....after that ...what happend is outta my control.... hear that ...?what happens is outta ur control.....try followi this for a while ..teme what u think.....give it ur best shot....then ...n only then ...will u not have regrets later.....there is nothing worse than a troubled conscience...the feelin that u cudda got more had u tried harder....

theres this song...quite a popular number...has an interestin lne.....the first part goes somethin like.."yesterday is not in ur hands"...how many ppl actually get this ....?i wonder....yesterday is gone mate...accept it....theres nothing ...NOTHING u can do bout it....yesterday u failed at something.......can u do ..anything...to change it ..?can u change time...?nope....let itgo ...theres nothing else u can do.....learn from it....promise urself that wont make the sae mistakes again...promise...and then let it go...let it go....the second line goes something like ..."tomorrow isnt in ur hands either"....again another thing ppl fail to get....one can neve pedict the future...so why waste time in tryin...?one must dream ...yes...but u musnt forget to live.....It doesnt do well to live in dreams Harry....and forget to ...live....what will happen ...wll happen ....all u can do is live ..for now ...this moment...this second...and thats the last line..."All u got in ur hand ...is the present"...Dont waste it....act ...do something...learn from the past....act with full knowledge of what ur actions will most probably result in.....live for the moment...

ive received a lotta feedback regardin my last article....and thot id use this one to clear up a few things....let me make this clear.....i never regret the factthat the acident occured....i sincerely blieve to tis day...and never have i found a reason to change my blief that everything happens to us for a reason...it us upto us....to turn whatever has happend to us to our maximum advantage.....we must never give up ....we are Human..i Solemly swear that i will never allow anything that happens to me to ever bring me down..every obstactle is a challenge i have yet to overcome...every hardship ive to bear...had to bear...will have to bear...it makes me a stronger person...a better person...i will never give up..no matter what happens...i will keep on living..i once rote an article for the skul magazine..i do not know if it was ever published...but still ..the crux of the point i was tryinto make is this..our scars-may they be big or small-invisible or visible...-define us....they make us who we are...it us upto us how we wear them...i wear my scars wit pride...how do u ...?

i coudnt see in one eye....i cant see in one eye....my left eye is useles...cyclops...yeah thats me...and my other eye....seventy five percet blind ...thats me as well....wanna know my power....?its plus seventeen...ironic isnt it....?the same as my age...hey wats ur power....?its the same as my age...no really..?yeah ...really...please dont ask me my power when u see me...i hate that surprised luk in ur eyes...then the sense of pity ...i hate the pity.....i know its only natural...but still...i never wanna feel leser than u ....i will..i will do everythin better...so that no one ever thinks of me as handicapped....i will be the best ...the best that i possibly can be...thats a decision i made a longtme ago....that time in the hospital...changed my life...by y then i wasnt a stranger to hospitals...had already fractured my arm earlier u see....still have a scar on my left wrist....try to hide it wit my watch...now u know why i always prefer big watches...in the beginin..i used to think...mebe...God has punished me ...u know...like id commited sum big sin...and thats why i broke my hand...and then id probably commited a bigger sin.so i met wit the accident...but my five year old self ..cudnt accept that...i began to think ...mebbe it was like a pre payment...mebbe im gonna comit some big sin later on..so God punished me in advance....but now...i know better..i know that the accident while it scarred me for life...made me the person i am today..it developed my interest in readin ...and hence my English improved...confined to be indoors..i still am not allowd to play many sports..ive developed an interest in music....al in all...God changed my life that day...i believe it was....for the best...

The rain ....i remember the rain so well...it was nature's special effect...i think ...later on ...it made the entire incident seem surreal to me....it eased the pain....there was so much rain...rain in torrents...the road was slippery...the car....driver in the front ....along with the boy......parents n sister in the bak...drivin on the way to Madurai....a screech of tyres......losing control......then ....crash .. a lorry.....fractured images....Glass ...mucus...blood...so much blood....my entire face is coverd in blood...whose blood is it..?they told me later that the entire windshield had shatterd n fallen on my face...whers my father..?.My father..?...fractured images.....my father's anguish..Oh god no...Dear God no...not my son..my son.....being held by him.....then blackness....images flashin thru my head....i never knew long i spent in hospital....six months....?eit....?..flashes....nurses.....its so sad....such a young boy....holdin my fathers hand n walkin down the corridor....dont wory...u'll see...God is there...Daddy will I see.....?..U will...surgery after surgery...the anasthaesia..a horrible sensation in my throat...mummy no i dont want that feeling again..tell them to stop..please...a sense of bein lifted...then nothing...findin myself..bak in the ward...struggln for everythin...have to feel my food...cant see...anything...ANYTHING...its so dark...why is it so dark...?where has the light gone.....?God ....?DAD....?MUM....?

i feel used......like im sum tool.......hey theres the tool...we can use him as such as v want....then forge tto thank him...infact better yet conveniently forget that he did the work at all ..jus use....n throw...like im sum cheap disposable....what do u want from me...?does nobody care bout what i want...?what i wanna do ...?what i wud sell my soul to do....?i deserve to do the thing i wanna do...ive earned the right...so LET ME DO IT...Im not a MACHIne for u to call upon when u like n discard when u have no further need....i have feelings too.......well no more....manage without me...ive had it ...nuff is frickin nuff....go figure.....u dont wanna lemme do what i wanna ...ill find sumone wholl let me...tata...this is the last....

once bitten ...twice shy...now thiso one is fo the gals.......ugotta move on...there is no other way...i know ..i know ive heard it all.......why take a step off the ledge ....when ure pretty sure ure gonna fall....when every relationshp uve bin in has tot u that to step off the ledge is to fall....but then ....heres what ive discoverd....make damn sure.....make bludy damn sure.....and then when ure as sure as u can be...jump...thats it ..take a flyin leap........cos unless u jump ...ull never know the pure joy of bein able to fly...unless u blive u can fly...ull never jump.....u gotta ...u gotta ccept the fact that the past is gone...there aint no other way...he did what he thot he had to do..misguded he may have been.but hes gone now...n jus mebbe ..theis one will be better....u gotta hope.....we can only hope n dream...too tired of bein let down....?....there is sumbdy out there...there hastto be ....i wont let there not be.....why shud i be dprived of the happiness i see others havin...i wont be...who are u ...?i will find u ...

once bitten ...twice shy......so tru.......there are so many ppl i know....some of them gals...well most of them gals....who have bin treated badly by guys...lemme dvote this blog to the guys in question...may these bastards rot in hell...i mean ...if u wer planin on dumpin the pore gal...why go to all the trble in the first place.....?..and dont give me all that shit bout not knowin that shed be like that and all...?make sure u bozo...dont play wit hearts ..theyre the most fragile organ in the human body....jus who do u think u are huh >>>?some self appointed god...?or king...?or casanova...?u'll fal in love when u want ...?and fal outta love whenever the hell u want....?..leavin her wit a broken heart...broken dreams ....broken xpectations...for puttin her trust in a worthless sht like u ...?do u know where uve left her....?at a point when se cant move forward....and cant move bak...thats where...think bout it....

everybody wants....sumthin ...always ...sumthin ...do this ..do that ..get that done..organise that ...sumtimess......jus soo tired.....cant u get sumbody else todo it ...?am i the only one....but im tired....i am i tell u .....i thot id escaped ur reach..but u still want stuff done.....why cant i say no.....?why CANT I JUS SAY NO....?i cant ...i cant ...why ...? am i afraid that to say no wud make me less in ur eyes...?is that it ...?...but ...im soo tired....n still i say ..."yea..."......ill do it ...sure....no problem..it wont kill me...yeah rite....more work...?no problem at all ...dish it out ....n choose the colour of the coffin please...i find black so ...boring....

"i am not afraid to keep on living...i am not afraid to walk this world alone...."....why are u afraid ...u are very afraid....u dont even know how afraid u are......u are afraid of the standards that society exacts....the pressure.....of lukin gud.....of bein gud.....of bein thot of as cool.....and so u hide ...mask urself...beneath layers n layers of what can b best called "filth"...for it is not u ...u dont want the world to see u ....for ure scared...so scared...that the world ...wont like u ....will see u as worthless....but dont u see....?by cloakin urslf....u are only endorsin the fact that u are worthless.....that u are not gud nuff for the world......well lemme tell u sumthin...the world isnt gud nuff for u ....refuse to accept its standards.....make ur own ..higher ...better......then ...n only then can u truly live......why this pressure ...?why do v feel insecure when v are alone....?..

what is it wit u .....?u think it wasnt me .....?that it was sumbody else....?the time i spent...selectin...workin my ass off...does it count for NOTHING....?...is ur memory so short.......?what bout all the tme u spent.....?when i listend to u ...complainin bout the work v were doin ...n how u didnt like it...?...had a complete turnbout have u ....?n why dont i say sumthin when u appropriate all the credit....?ALL the credit...?not to u ...not to me.....what stops me sayin something...?i say nothig...nothing at all....is it bcos i fear that to interject wud be to show my ego...?or is it bcos itoo have begun to secretly doubt my hand ....?watever it may be....i may doubt my hand in it ....but i will NEVER never doubt the work i put in ...for u ...for us......and all i have to show at the end of it ....is thanklessness.....and memories.......the memories...they will have to do ....good meories...i think we were all better then...

is ur happiness defined by whom ure wit...?are u that shallow....?....can u not be happy without him/her wit u ....?why do make the ppl aroud u feel like shit by askin for sumbody else when theyre not there......the other mans grass is always greener mate.....remember that ....u think that side is cooler...then go b there...b done wit u ...dont take our lives out by bein here n bellyachin...tata...have a nice day...dont forget not to call...

...i cant do any more...i cant do ANY MORE u hear...?i try to luk the best i can ..for them...and if u want more...go die....go DIE>.......i wish...i wish/...v had no physical form...that v were merely clouds...of thots feelings...intelligence...so that we didnt have to ALWAYS...be conscious of how we luk...of how vr dressed....of how everybody else seems to luk better.....nacissist....?i am....society is reponsible in part....i am also reponsible in part...

here i am ...bak again..this bloggin stuff is actually innerestin...no that anyone will read it ofc.......
.........wer is the intelligence gone....?where are the intelligent ppl in the world...everythin everyone seems to stay is standard....passe.....it is sooo long since i have met someone different...i am beginin to imagine that there are no different ppl left in the world.....everyone is the same...everything they say they have heard someone else say ...and they repeat like PARROTS.........why cant u b original......?is ur whole state of bein a FAKE>....?>...do u have to copy someone always.......?i have had it wit u n ur kind.......show me intelligence....something different....sho me intelligence for CHRISSAKE......where is ur brain.....u are a collection of copied thots ...borrowd from whoever u think is cool....and for ur info ...those ppl who u think are cool.....borrowd their thots from someone else.....

why is the pressure of makin conversation.....soooooo effin HIGH....?why is it when two ppl sit together ...or three or four.....they HAVE to say sumthin.....even sumthin so dumb...so lackin in intelligence that it wud make a tadpole seem classy.....?why cant i jus sit......?let me be....i dont HAVE to say anything to u ....come to think of that ....u dont HAVE to say anythin to me either........dont u feel the pressure.......the presuure of cosiety....?drivin u to make conversation...to socialise....even when u dont wanna.....to laugh...even when u dont find a thing remotely funny.....to laugh even when u feel cut up inside.....WHY SHUD WE LAUGH.....?why shud we change to fit in....?but it iis sooooo hard....they want me to change ...to be like them.....i can feel my resolve leavn me.....they seem alrite......no....i tried that once....it brot me...nothing ...emptyness....thats is all......but their stares.....he is socially awkward...no no..dont approach him...(unless u need sumthin of course...).. he is a loner......yeah ....i am ...so what ...?let me be....

I am detachd.I find myself surrounded by ppl...chaos ...noise....it is like being wrapped in bubblewrap and bein thrust into a limitless basket full of packages that dont seem to have any bubblewrap on them....everytime i try to poke a finger thru the bubblewrap....they look at me strangely...as they wud at a child who is makin its first attempts at speech...but does not yet know how to say anything recognozible to them...they do not understan....or they do not hear.....i hate them not hearing.......i think to myself ...i shud spk up .....but then ...i wonder....is it worth the effort......?
Why arent there others like me.....?.....where is the bubble wrap on u ....?......why are u so open.....?do u want the whole world to know bout every insignificant detail of ur life....?