Potential

It is my gift.It is my curse.i look around me and i see-sooo much potential.For a long time now ive bin conscious of the fact that i have this curse to see an immense -ability- in EVEry person i see.Sho me a rag and i will draw the shirt it can become.Better yet-Ill make the shirt for you.I may even help u start production.While this may seem like a wonderful thing on the outside.It has proved to be a terrible curse.Ive become a Cynical Bastard.Every time,EVERY TIME to have to see so much potential go to waste-bein ruined by INCOMPETENT bums is like tearing out a bit of my soul.I feel like screaming in rage and frustration.Dont u See?Why the hell cant you see?uU have the ability.U have the God given talent for Pete's sake.I would KILL for some of the talents i see in ppl around me.I would commit Blue murder if i cud have been given talent,knowledge,opportunity,assets like yours.Ive had to build every talent I have wit me now from scratch.Whereas you-you have so much.And yet.And YET.U do Nothing.Open your eyes man.Luk at what youve got.See yourself as i see you.And for the love of God dont waste it.Please.Have mercy.

Faith

Ahh.Faith.Ye ole problemo.
See the thing about faith is this-never,NEVER try to rationalize it.Cos if you try to rationalize your faith-find "scientific"xplanations of your belief -Then that isnt faith at all.There are sooo many arguments for God and against god ,that ,quite frankly it can get damn annoyin sumtimes.Here's an interesting Pro- god argument that ive heard.It is also the most asinine argument i have ever had the misfortune to hear.
The idiot:See if ure an atheist and you deny the existance of God-then you obviously have some conception of what ure denying.(patronizing tone) i mean you cant deny "nothing"?Therefore QED -God exists.
Answer:You FRICKIN IDIOT!here's an extension of your argument.I dont belive in the Bogeyman either.therefor-since i cant deny "nothing"-the Bogeyman exists?get outta here.
The thing is this :i Can -singlehandedly-destroy every argument you can possibly put forward for the existence of God.I can say that ur need to believe in a "higher power" is merely a form of wishful thinking.You're not cool wit the fact that u jus appeared-that ure the product of randomness.You need to have a REASON.You need to believe that theres a person wit a plan-who's gonna make sure ur life turns out OK in the end.i could say you need to grow up .Wake up and smell the coffee brother.yeah.I COULD say that .But see -the thing is-what it ultimately boils down to is FAITH.I was talkin to a frend of mine recently.And I was feelin a trifle sore at religion in genral.Cos id had to attend a retreat the previous da.Anyway long story short-The pore chap wanted to talk to me about the existence of God.By the time i was thru wit him-and here i quote-id managed"to reduce his three percent of faith-down to 0.5 percent"( i wonder if at this point it would be wise to read from the Bible"If you have Faith as a grain of mustard seed ,you shall say to the mountain-Move.And it shall"I reckon 0.5 percent shud qualify as seed enough for anybody)Have faith my friend.Be clear on what you believe in.And HOLD ON to that clear belief.(Note:this is different from rationalizing.I could ,very clearly belive that I'm remarkably handsome-without any rational explanation for the strange fact)Believe.And whenever see a person comin at you -usually sum smart alec wit a vendetta against God(Nowadays its Cool to be an atheist)all u have to do is Smile enigmatically at him and say"Look I cant explain why i believe.i cant argue wit you I cant PROVE anything.But I believe"

Bloodless

"Seven thousand four hundred and twenty one people died today"....
i feel nothin. i am cut,but i do not bleed.WHY DONT I BLEED....?
shake me,hurt me,i wanna bleed.i SHUD bleed.i shud feel SUMTHIn.religon ,morality-everything tells me i shud bleed for these ppl-ppl i do not know,people i have never met. i shd feel pity.i feel nothing-NOTHINg.i.am.detached.Am i human...?is it human to feel nothin..?I open my eyes-i see -chaos,confusion around me.A stampede-faceless people-maimed.i am them,and yet i am not them.i am n a void-and all that separates me from them-is myself.But,if i were to see,one face,just ONE face in that crowd-even for a MILLISECOND-of a person i know-whom i care about,anyone of my frends...i would throw myself into the stampede-and save them,or die tryin.Even the slightest cut then-wud bleed me dry.Where did the emotion come from...?WHERE...?where did it go..?where...?Am i human...?Human, if i bleed-even unto death for the pain,no matter how small,sufferd by what is mine.And if i am detached,when it is not of mine...?am i human...?tell me..

Home

"im goin home ..to a place where i belong ...where the love has always bin nuf for me"
Atlast .After nearly a month of travellin..im home..Oh yeah..home...this one's for u .ya know folks ..ive travelled a lot..a helluva lot...i mean seriously .i dont think there are a lotta places i haven bin to at sum point of time..but ..lemme tell u this...there ant no place like home...no place..there aint no feelin u get ..like the feeln u get when ure comin home..u know..its kinda funny ..everytime i say this ...people imediately gve me a sceptical smile...theyre all like..yeah yeah ..v know..heard it all bfore...let me tell u .these ppl ..they dunno squat...homes home brother..as simple as that....its this feelin...of completeness..of shud-be ness...that everythin is as it shud be .and will always remain so ..and ure bak..that the ppl u know ...and love ..are there ...the things u left bhind are still there...mebbe not in form..but in spirit.....that quite literally...the love thats always bin nuff for u ..is still there...it hasn gone..after a cold stranger...a beautiful stranger mebbe....but .. a cold stranger nonetheless....after her....home is bliss...yeah baby ...im home.

Feminism

Feminism.Ah.The magic word.i hate it.talking bout feminism is lke talkin bout poverty.Theres no point.Heres what i think.Feminism is overdon.it is overemphasized in areas in which it has no rite to be overemphasized-and in those places that it is actually needed-its miraculously absent.U.Feminist.Where were u ?Female infanticide.Where were you ?Sati.Dowry.Child Marriage.Where the HELL were you ?All u can bleat about is girl power.And how the so called enterprising "new"woman is bein exploited by men.The ole "being denied of your rights(spits) trick".FITE u coward.Dont u dare come up to me and tell me that the city women are denied their rites.Dont u dare come up to me and demand that u be given reservation for jobs over the heads of far more competent people jus cos u are a woman.I will turn my back and walk away.I dont give a damn whether ure a woman or a man.I will employ you based on capability.Not on ur sex.Work for those who really need it.To the arrogant self righteous patronizing feminist-Screw urself.To the one who wants to help remedy some of the issues discussed above.My good wishes.Rest in Peace.

Turnin Eiteen

The reason i was scared of turnin eiteen...was cos i kinda felt..i wasnt ready...i mean ...i duno whether other ppl have felt this too...but i kinda imagined myself different when i was eiteen..physically yeah...mebbe a lil taller...a lil slimmer...whatever..but generally too..Bottom line ... i felt i wasnt ready..mebbe i thot that the world wud ask for more from me now that i was an adult...or that i wud have to be more mature...weird eh?I quite literally had to be dragged into my eiteenth year on this earth...Hmm...kinda like a Peter pan Syndrome i think..The boy who never wanted to gro up..why...?cos to remain a kid..is to remain carefree..to expect everything..and have nothing expected from u .....when i expressed this view to a frend..she lukd at me oddly and said that she thot that me of all ppl wud have achieved more than enuff by now...but ... dunno really...have i bcome eiteen.?the eiteen i wanted to be....?i think i imagined...that on my bday...i wd get up ....and in the mirror ...id see sumbody different...or mebbe id splash sum water on my face...and voila....id be the guy i wanted to be..supposed to be accordin to me... mebbe im short by a few months..ah well..i aint gonna spend time moonin bout it..no wories..for better or for worse..im eiteen now..no longer a kid....its time to grow up...Sho me what uve got world...

Facing Competition

This world is mine for the taking Make me king, as we move toward a, new world order...The whole world is ur playground mate.....U were born into this life..to win...not lose...Got that ..?...there aint gonna be anyone better...never was...never will be...any competition u see.....crush it ...by makin urself better...u gotta be the best..THE BEST... you hear me...?theres no other...u WILL do it...there are guys who come to me and say...We've got competition here....I think im gud at smthing...but theres always somebody whos better...and i dont know if ill ever be as gud as them....A technique i use bfor competitions..i ask myself...Who are they ....?Who the HEll are they ...?who are they after all.?.....theyr only human...everybodys human...u think those jerks who are "better "than u ...u think they dropped from the sky or sumthing brother....?U can be better than them...U GOTTA be better than them...Kill yourself ...work urself to the bone...learn from their mistakes .....But do it....improve urself...u aint gonna be jus s gud as em...ur gonna be better...have faith man....jus keep tellin urself this...theyre human...jus human...and u can do it...Work ur a** off.....so whatchu still doin here.....?

My reasonin bhind the cryptic statement i made a few blogs bak that music...is a drug.
They say music can alter moods and talk to you But can it load a gun for you and cock it too?..... everybody just feels like they can relate I guess words are a m(*^&(*&r, they can be great Or they can degrate, or even worse, they can teach hate"...A dude listens to a song...and he goes...yeah...yeah man...that song was sung for me...THATS what im talkin bout...see...tere are other dudes whove had to deal wit the SHIT that i have....very fine so far...empathy is gud...Feelins shared ...feelin halved and all...but what happens ...what happens...?when u dont know where to draw the line...?when ...mebbe.....ur life isnt all that effd up....and u jus force the broken pieces into the niche of the song....?..the song says..theres no hope nemore...isnt there....?theres no joy in life....isnt there....?.and the song says...its better to end it...screw it man...kill urself...when u come bak..ull have it better...n u start thinkin..ya know....yeah he was rite ..i'll come bak for sure...in the next lfe...so why dont i jus finish it now...?sayanora....Know where to draw the line mate...LISTEN to me...the song's not bout u ...GOT that ...?no matter how much u think it is...twas sung by sum other guy...and no matter what u mite think u and he arent the same....theres always a difference...n he aint God ..the solutions he's offerin arent RITE...theyre jus what workd for him...they wont work for u ..music man...gud servant...but ...baaad.....Dont dive in...and lose yerself...

A discushn i was havin yestrday set me thinkin....
Are we divided into neat freaks and slobs....?what makes a neat freak tick newez.....?ima self confessed slob.....My room luks like Katrina tuk a rong turn after New Orleans ...At any given point of time u can find assorted wires ,buks,CDS Medicines pens bedsheets pictures all over the place.... my mum however...is a neat freak....Ive bin watchin her and ive come to the conclusion that it actually causes her physical discomfort to luk at the mess in my room...she even asked me once...Dont u feel the need to clean up...?Doesnt the untidyness bother u ...?truth is ...it doesnt ....Tell you one thing tho..we slobs .....we accept that its difficult to find sumthin when ure in a hury ...i for one will the first to admit that if it wasnt for my mother ..god bless her ...i wudnt find a blinkin thing in my room...but then ...the question is.....why dont we clear up ...?whats the problem here...?strange init...leave a Neat freak in an untidy room for a while and ull see what im talkin bout....they cant STAND the clutter...heres a theory....Its psychological...they cant stand chaos disorder anywhere..it disturbs them...unhinges them...and so ...like some weird magnt thing...they start clearin up....strange eh..?while we slobs....we aren disturbed by chaos at all....we're cool wit it..totally...yeah...im startin to make a weird sorta sence....i reckon ive invented a cast iron case for remainin slobbish for a long time yet...cheers mate...
Footnote...My idea of clearin up involves Throwin half the rubbish out...and the other half into a cupboard...and hey presto....Id be innerested to hear a neat freak's take on the issue...

Say guys...i have a request....if u read my blogs...and u agree/disagree wit what uve read...leave a comment eh...?it helps ....cheers
O and another thing...ive bin asked by a frend o mine...bout how come my blogs are all in net lingo....my frend reckons it wud enhance the richness of the blogs if they were rittin in a more...shall v say ...formal stye of ritting...This led me to an important point....
we have bin conditioned....we have been conditiond to think that whatever is old...is automatically better...better than what we have today...Old architecture is better...oh he's a gud artist...but not as gud as Da vinci....a gud riter ...but not as gud as Shakespeare.....i read a buk once "The fountainhead"...by Ayn rand..i recomend u read the buk.heres a bitta philosophy fro that ...the buk is set in an age when architects were fallin over themselves to imitate past architectural styles...an architect was lauded for the number of Classic(Gothic, French etc)styles that he cud incorporate inti his design...there were architects...and there was Roark..Howard Riark was a man who blieved tat a building was gud...bcos it was gud...bcos it fulfilled the purpose for which it was built...period ..end of discushn..Skyscrapers wernt ugly monstrosities..they were a smart man's solution to a problem..Im not sayin Shakespeare was bad...Or that Da vinci didnt know how to paint...but ...dont let their achievements be a Standardisn factor....judge everythng based on its own merit...not how much it has imbibed from a so-called master's work..they were gud fo their age..now this is our time...Dont reject net lingo cos its a corruption of sumthin that was folowd a hundred years ago...i have read Blogs rittin in pure net lingo that are as powerful..to me atleast..as any old text rittin in the most proper of English....eloquence is not Speakin fluently in a language no one follows...its speakin fluently in the language everybody follows..

theres this group of elitist hypocrites among music lovers....mostly theyre the metal heads...for these i have two words ...grow up.....u do ot know music....else u wdnt accept one type of music...and reject another....im not talkin bout specific songs here.....i understand ppl not likin a song bcos they cannot relate to its sentiments....but what i cannot understand is ppl dislikin an ntire genre on principle.....Who the hell are u man...?what gives u the rite ...to PRETEND that one type of music is inferior to another.....u sum God brother...?dont luk down on those who like a different type of music to u ...bigoted fool...every type of music is a sacred thing..sacred to the one who wrote it...sang it...sacred to the one who listens to it...u cum in here with ur half baked sense of music...and start dissin rap hip hop and trance jus bcos U think its beneath u ...WHO are u ...?u have no rite..no rite to diss msic u have not botherd to appreciate...everything ...EVERYTHING is music....an expression of feelin..i admit u may ot be able to relate....i hardly xpect u to like "Ridin Dirty" or whatever...but..ull realise this when u get older...perhaps ..i hope so anyways...for ur sake...Every bit of music ...comes from an ocean.....and to reject an entire river.....is to sho ...ignorance..bigotry...ad a lack of culture...

Its bin a while innit.?Last post was qute a whle ago..my apologies..ive bin a bit busy..newez..ive bin meanin to rite bout summat for a while now...ok...here we go.....
Music....ill be frank wit u ...i dont get hi on weed pot hash beer or any other thing for that matter...but i do get hi on music...its like a drug...i know drug isnt the rite word here...or mebbe it is ...a lil mor on that in my next blog...newez...music is my solace..my safe refuge..my haven..when the problems of the world get too much for me ..i find comfort in music...heres the thing....music is alive..it has a soul...it can alter moods..make u cry ...make u weep..make u feel brave...the kind of music u listen to ..defines u .....tell me the music u listen to ...and ill tell u the kind of man u are.... i cannot imagin life without music...life without it ...aint worth living brother....u want poetry...?forget Shakespeare...forget wordsworth....listen to the brilliant ppl out there in the world TODAY..rite here rite now...Isnt it jus amazin ..the way somebody uve never never met...can write words...and a tune...that seems like it was written for u ...and u alone.....music is like that glove theyre always tryin to invent...a glove that fits perfectly ..no matter ...who u are....what uve dun....it fits....Fits so well u wanna say...Im home...

u know..whenever i go for a competition...or an exam....or anything that i consider importan for that matter...i prepare ...i prepare...till i cant prepare anymore.......i prepare till ive reached a point when i know ...that ive done ...everything...everything in my power...to make sure i do NOT fail at whatever it is im goin to do.....heres an example to ilustrate my point....In my tenth ..board exams... i got ninety percent...while this may seem like a lot to the casual observer....those who knew me..who knew the way id studied..\the track record i had maintaind...knew it wasnt what i shudda got...after the boards......all my frends....what happend ...?what happend....?howdya lose those marks.....?..hmm...i reckon they imagind id spend sleepless nites tossing and turnin....thinkn bout how come i didnt get more...but the truth is...i slept perfectly fine..thank u very much....cos i knew...i knew i had worked..to the maximun ....i knew i cud not hav done more....after that ...what happend is outta my control.... hear that ...?what happens is outta ur control.....try followi this for a while ..teme what u think.....give it ur best shot....then ...n only then ...will u not have regrets later.....there is nothing worse than a troubled conscience...the feelin that u cudda got more had u tried harder....

theres this song...quite a popular number...has an interestin lne.....the first part goes somethin like.."yesterday is not in ur hands"...how many ppl actually get this ....?i wonder....yesterday is gone mate...accept it....theres nothing ...NOTHING u can do bout it....yesterday u failed at something.......can u do ..anything...to change it ..?can u change time...?nope....let itgo ...theres nothing else u can do.....learn from it....promise urself that wont make the sae mistakes again...promise...and then let it go...let it go....the second line goes something like ..."tomorrow isnt in ur hands either"....again another thing ppl fail to get....one can neve pedict the future...so why waste time in tryin...?one must dream ...yes...but u musnt forget to live.....It doesnt do well to live in dreams Harry....and forget to ...live....what will happen ...wll happen ....all u can do is live ..for now ...this moment...this second...and thats the last line..."All u got in ur hand ...is the present"...Dont waste it....act ...do something...learn from the past....act with full knowledge of what ur actions will most probably result in.....live for the moment...

ive received a lotta feedback regardin my last article....and thot id use this one to clear up a few things....let me make this clear.....i never regret the factthat the acident occured....i sincerely blieve to tis day...and never have i found a reason to change my blief that everything happens to us for a reason...it us upto us....to turn whatever has happend to us to our maximum advantage.....we must never give up ....we are Human..i Solemly swear that i will never allow anything that happens to me to ever bring me down..every obstactle is a challenge i have yet to overcome...every hardship ive to bear...had to bear...will have to bear...it makes me a stronger person...a better person...i will never give up..no matter what happens...i will keep on living..i once rote an article for the skul magazine..i do not know if it was ever published...but still ..the crux of the point i was tryinto make is this..our scars-may they be big or small-invisible or visible...-define us....they make us who we are...it us upto us how we wear them...i wear my scars wit pride...how do u ...?

i coudnt see in one eye....i cant see in one eye....my left eye is useles...cyclops...yeah thats me...and my other eye....seventy five percet blind ...thats me as well....wanna know my power....?its plus seventeen...ironic isnt it....?the same as my age...hey wats ur power....?its the same as my age...no really..?yeah ...really...please dont ask me my power when u see me...i hate that surprised luk in ur eyes...then the sense of pity ...i hate the pity.....i know its only natural...but still...i never wanna feel leser than u ....i will..i will do everythin better...so that no one ever thinks of me as handicapped....i will be the best ...the best that i possibly can be...thats a decision i made a longtme ago....that time in the hospital...changed my life...by y then i wasnt a stranger to hospitals...had already fractured my arm earlier u see....still have a scar on my left wrist....try to hide it wit my watch...now u know why i always prefer big watches...in the beginin..i used to think...mebe...God has punished me ...u know...like id commited sum big sin...and thats why i broke my hand...and then id probably commited a bigger sin.so i met wit the accident...but my five year old self ..cudnt accept that...i began to think ...mebbe it was like a pre payment...mebbe im gonna comit some big sin later on..so God punished me in advance....but now...i know better..i know that the accident while it scarred me for life...made me the person i am today..it developed my interest in readin ...and hence my English improved...confined to be indoors..i still am not allowd to play many sports..ive developed an interest in music....al in all...God changed my life that day...i believe it was....for the best...

The rain ....i remember the rain so well...it was nature's special effect...i think ...later on ...it made the entire incident seem surreal to me....it eased the pain....there was so much rain...rain in torrents...the road was slippery...the car....driver in the front ....along with the boy......parents n sister in the bak...drivin on the way to Madurai....a screech of tyres......losing control......then ....crash .. a lorry.....fractured images....Glass ...mucus...blood...so much blood....my entire face is coverd in blood...whose blood is it..?they told me later that the entire windshield had shatterd n fallen on my face...whers my father..?.My father..?...fractured images.....my father's anguish..Oh god no...Dear God no...not my son..my son.....being held by him.....then blackness....images flashin thru my head....i never knew long i spent in hospital....six months....?eit....?..flashes....nurses.....its so sad....such a young boy....holdin my fathers hand n walkin down the corridor....dont wory...u'll see...God is there...Daddy will I see.....?..U will...surgery after surgery...the anasthaesia..a horrible sensation in my throat...mummy no i dont want that feeling again..tell them to stop..please...a sense of bein lifted...then nothing...findin myself..bak in the ward...struggln for everythin...have to feel my food...cant see...anything...ANYTHING...its so dark...why is it so dark...?where has the light gone.....?God ....?DAD....?MUM....?

i feel used......like im sum tool.......hey theres the tool...we can use him as such as v want....then forge tto thank him...infact better yet conveniently forget that he did the work at all ..jus use....n throw...like im sum cheap disposable....what do u want from me...?does nobody care bout what i want...?what i wanna do ...?what i wud sell my soul to do....?i deserve to do the thing i wanna do...ive earned the right...so LET ME DO IT...Im not a MACHIne for u to call upon when u like n discard when u have no further need....i have feelings too.......well no more....manage without me...ive had it ...nuff is frickin nuff....go figure.....u dont wanna lemme do what i wanna ...ill find sumone wholl let me...tata...this is the last....

once bitten ...twice shy...now thiso one is fo the gals.......ugotta move on...there is no other way...i know ..i know ive heard it all.......why take a step off the ledge ....when ure pretty sure ure gonna fall....when every relationshp uve bin in has tot u that to step off the ledge is to fall....but then ....heres what ive discoverd....make damn sure.....make bludy damn sure.....and then when ure as sure as u can be...jump...thats it ..take a flyin leap........cos unless u jump ...ull never know the pure joy of bein able to fly...unless u blive u can fly...ull never jump.....u gotta ...u gotta ccept the fact that the past is gone...there aint no other way...he did what he thot he had to do..misguded he may have been.but hes gone now...n jus mebbe ..theis one will be better....u gotta hope.....we can only hope n dream...too tired of bein let down....?....there is sumbdy out there...there hastto be ....i wont let there not be.....why shud i be dprived of the happiness i see others havin...i wont be...who are u ...?i will find u ...

once bitten ...twice shy......so tru.......there are so many ppl i know....some of them gals...well most of them gals....who have bin treated badly by guys...lemme dvote this blog to the guys in question...may these bastards rot in hell...i mean ...if u wer planin on dumpin the pore gal...why go to all the trble in the first place.....?..and dont give me all that shit bout not knowin that shed be like that and all...?make sure u bozo...dont play wit hearts ..theyre the most fragile organ in the human body....jus who do u think u are huh >>>?some self appointed god...?or king...?or casanova...?u'll fal in love when u want ...?and fal outta love whenever the hell u want....?..leavin her wit a broken heart...broken dreams ....broken xpectations...for puttin her trust in a worthless sht like u ...?do u know where uve left her....?at a point when se cant move forward....and cant move bak...thats where...think bout it....

everybody wants....sumthin ...always ...sumthin ...do this ..do that ..get that done..organise that ...sumtimess......jus soo tired.....cant u get sumbody else todo it ...?am i the only one....but im tired....i am i tell u .....i thot id escaped ur reach..but u still want stuff done.....why cant i say no.....?why CANT I JUS SAY NO....?i cant ...i cant ...why ...? am i afraid that to say no wud make me less in ur eyes...?is that it ...?...but ...im soo tired....n still i say ..."yea..."......ill do it ...sure....no problem..it wont kill me...yeah rite....more work...?no problem at all ...dish it out ....n choose the colour of the coffin please...i find black so ...boring....

"i am not afraid to keep on living...i am not afraid to walk this world alone...."....why are u afraid ...u are very afraid....u dont even know how afraid u are......u are afraid of the standards that society exacts....the pressure.....of lukin gud.....of bein gud.....of bein thot of as cool.....and so u hide ...mask urself...beneath layers n layers of what can b best called "filth"...for it is not u ...u dont want the world to see u ....for ure scared...so scared...that the world ...wont like u ....will see u as worthless....but dont u see....?by cloakin urslf....u are only endorsin the fact that u are worthless.....that u are not gud nuff for the world......well lemme tell u sumthin...the world isnt gud nuff for u ....refuse to accept its standards.....make ur own ..higher ...better......then ...n only then can u truly live......why this pressure ...?why do v feel insecure when v are alone....?..

what is it wit u .....?u think it wasnt me .....?that it was sumbody else....?the time i spent...selectin...workin my ass off...does it count for NOTHING....?...is ur memory so short.......?what bout all the tme u spent.....?when i listend to u ...complainin bout the work v were doin ...n how u didnt like it...?...had a complete turnbout have u ....?n why dont i say sumthin when u appropriate all the credit....?ALL the credit...?not to u ...not to me.....what stops me sayin something...?i say nothig...nothing at all....is it bcos i fear that to interject wud be to show my ego...?or is it bcos itoo have begun to secretly doubt my hand ....?watever it may be....i may doubt my hand in it ....but i will NEVER never doubt the work i put in ...for u ...for us......and all i have to show at the end of it ....is thanklessness.....and memories.......the memories...they will have to do ....good meories...i think we were all better then...

is ur happiness defined by whom ure wit...?are u that shallow....?....can u not be happy without him/her wit u ....?why do make the ppl aroud u feel like shit by askin for sumbody else when theyre not there......the other mans grass is always greener mate.....remember that ....u think that side is cooler...then go b there...b done wit u ...dont take our lives out by bein here n bellyachin...tata...have a nice day...dont forget not to call...

...i cant do any more...i cant do ANY MORE u hear...?i try to luk the best i can ..for them...and if u want more...go die....go DIE>.......i wish...i wish/...v had no physical form...that v were merely clouds...of thots feelings...intelligence...so that we didnt have to ALWAYS...be conscious of how we luk...of how vr dressed....of how everybody else seems to luk better.....nacissist....?i am....society is reponsible in part....i am also reponsible in part...

here i am ...bak again..this bloggin stuff is actually innerestin...no that anyone will read it ofc.......
.........wer is the intelligence gone....?where are the intelligent ppl in the world...everythin everyone seems to stay is standard....passe.....it is sooo long since i have met someone different...i am beginin to imagine that there are no different ppl left in the world.....everyone is the same...everything they say they have heard someone else say ...and they repeat like PARROTS.........why cant u b original......?is ur whole state of bein a FAKE>....?>...do u have to copy someone always.......?i have had it wit u n ur kind.......show me intelligence....something different....sho me intelligence for CHRISSAKE......where is ur brain.....u are a collection of copied thots ...borrowd from whoever u think is cool....and for ur info ...those ppl who u think are cool.....borrowd their thots from someone else.....

why is the pressure of makin conversation.....soooooo effin HIGH....?why is it when two ppl sit together ...or three or four.....they HAVE to say sumthin.....even sumthin so dumb...so lackin in intelligence that it wud make a tadpole seem classy.....?why cant i jus sit......?let me be....i dont HAVE to say anything to u ....come to think of that ....u dont HAVE to say anythin to me either........dont u feel the pressure.......the presuure of cosiety....?drivin u to make conversation...to socialise....even when u dont wanna.....to laugh...even when u dont find a thing remotely funny.....to laugh even when u feel cut up inside.....WHY SHUD WE LAUGH.....?why shud we change to fit in....?but it iis sooooo hard....they want me to change ...to be like them.....i can feel my resolve leavn me.....they seem alrite......no....i tried that once....it brot me...nothing ...emptyness....thats is all......but their stares.....he is socially awkward...no no..dont approach him...(unless u need sumthin of course...).. he is a loner......yeah ....i am ...so what ...?let me be....

I am detachd.I find myself surrounded by ppl...chaos ...noise....it is like being wrapped in bubblewrap and bein thrust into a limitless basket full of packages that dont seem to have any bubblewrap on them....everytime i try to poke a finger thru the bubblewrap....they look at me strangely...as they wud at a child who is makin its first attempts at speech...but does not yet know how to say anything recognozible to them...they do not understan....or they do not hear.....i hate them not hearing.......i think to myself ...i shud spk up .....but then ...i wonder....is it worth the effort......?
Why arent there others like me.....?.....where is the bubble wrap on u ....?......why are u so open.....?do u want the whole world to know bout every insignificant detail of ur life....?