That was the question they asked me.
And wouldn't you know it, I had a position all picked out for me to defend. I had to go on air and tell people that their vote didn't make a difference.
Now ordinarily, I would shoot myself before I did something like that.
But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea
Mathew 18:6
Yes, I've been brought up a Christian; and my mother, bless her, made sure I knew the Bible.
Now, I believe I have a gift. It is the ability to convince people, quite well, of a stance that I currently hold. I once wrote that I could come up with arguments both supporting and refuting the existence of God, and both of them would be good arguments. I could, and can: But the question is- do I want to?
Quite frankly, no. If there's one thing I despise- it is destroying someone else's faith. You see faith, and the hope that it entails, is one of the most precious gifts that a person has. And if you shake that...
then good job, my son, you've just killed a soul. See you in Hell.
And so, I thought I'd take some time out and write this note; more to ease my conscience than anything else.
So, does your vote make a difference?
In a word, no. It does not. Before you pin me down as a cynical old loon ("Armchair Critic", I believe the word was) take a minute and think about it. If you, successfully, go and cast your vote, which in itself is a big achievement, do you think you're going to bring about a difference? You, sitting there in your air-conditioned apartment, comfortable, fed and watered. You. Not the public, not the "People"; but you.
Yes? What difference, pray tell.
The common understanding of the word "difference" is a change in outcome. In this context- if a person is to win on account of your vote, he should win on account of it. Then, apparently, tomorrow will be a brighter day filled with sunshine and daisies.
Quite.
Let me tell you something, friend. for every vote that you cast from your velvet-covered hand, there are ten other louts who will vote any which way they please for a packet of Biryani. My maid tells me that she took five hundred rupees to vote for a particular person. So, quite a lot more than a packet of Biryani then.
And yet, we still vote. What is the difference?
The difference Mister Cynic, is not out there, it's in here.
The only difference worth making, is the difference to yourself. If you change the world and you have no feeling of satisfaction, then that is no difference at all. If you give a million people television kits (and Air Conditioners and Refridgerators if modern trend is anything to go by) and you do not feel a sense of having made a difference, then what is the point?
The bear went over the mountain, the bear went over the mountain, the bear went over the mountain, to see what he could see.
And all that he could see, and all that he could see, and all that he could see,
Was the other side of the mountain, was the other side of the mountain,
The other side of the mountain, was all that he could see.
You know what?
In the bear's heart, he feels that he has made a difference;
and that, is the only thing that matters.
Why should I vote?
Because I can.
Because if i do not, someone else will vote for me. And no one, No one, does anything in My name without My express authorisation.
Yes, I have God-like delusions sometimes. Sue me.
Will it make a difference?
Yes, it will.
To whom?
To the only person who matters,
Me.
Addendum:
So why did I do it? The same reason I refused when my mother told me not to read Dan Brown.
If your faith is so pathetic that you let it be shaken at the first sound of contradiction, then you do not deserve to have faith at all.
A trial by fire, is the only trial worth having.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Dream on
I spoke to K first, for no other reason than he is most used to my mad schemes.
Poi saavu da.
That’s what he said, when I told him of my plan.
Here’s a translation of the rest;
I’ve my practice, I’m established; I’ve worked hard for this da and now you come in here (Just like you always do) and lay your idea on the table. No chance. Pick another guy. There are plenty of others in the city.
The rest ran on the same vein for a while.
But one thing I know about K, is that, like me, he likes a show.
Here’s my plan, I said. I want to start…..
And I want to do a series of them across the country. We will change the way this country sees entertainment. We’ll have them in every city. Every city will have one. They will be places where people can go to forget….and perhaps remember.
Money is no object. We will make a lot of money. I have a little money with which to start off with. And believe me, we will make a lot more. But I need you. You’re the only one who’s worked with me before. Heck, you’re the reason that the union ran for a year. Remember that? You know I need you.
We spoke for over three hours.
In the end, he agreed.
I knew he would in the end.
I think he knew it as well.
….
With K convinced, I knew I had done it. There was no possible way it could not work after that.
I spoke to the Snowman next. He’d had some experience of processes. I needed him to ensure that my organization ran smoother than a kid’s bottom. That’s what I told him.
Actually, it wasn’t strictly the truth. I needed the guy because he worked as hard as anyone I knew: harder, even. He was reliable, straight-forward; and he helped me see the lighter side of life.
I could also see a possible future venture for him to take up. I knew what he really wanted to do. It wasn’t that hard to figure.
I’m a genius, sometimes.
Oh alright, he told me. There, happy?
Biryani and beer, my friend. Biryani and beer.
……
What did I do after that?
I believe in fate. I seriously do. I believe, in the end, that I cannot lose. I Believe that God, or whatever it is you’d like to call him, brings people into our lives for a reason. And that everything, everything, fits together.
We started off on 2nd April 2016. There wasn’t any looking back after that.
I pulled in the Walrus for PR.
Go jump, son; he said. You are not doing this to me again. I did it in college, but I was younger then. I will not be a victim of your megalomaniacal tendencies, again, You can go rule the world, I’m happy designing good, clean ad material.
Remember Vox Populi, I said.
Typical.
See that’s precisely what I’m talking about. If I work for you, it will be the same thing all over again. You wanted a lion then, and you’ll want your face now.
Fine, Alright then.
Fine? You’re letting it go? Just like that. You’re losing your touch, son.
Look, I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse.
Sigh, take back what I just said.
I’ll invest in your company. I’ll put in this much of money, you run your company, no problem- just do my designing free.
The raised, skeptical eyebrows;
Exactly how much are we talking about here?
I told him.
I think Ben phrased it best, when he said later- Macha, Pradeep just wants to stand in front of a burning hoop and make lions jump at him, while he effortlessly swats them aside with his huge arms.
Right.
….
It was inevitable that I’d have MJ somewhere in there. One of the most promising kids I’ve seen. Smart and beautiful- What’s even worse, was that she knew it. And she knew how to use it too. Bugger her.
She’d just started off her company by then. Of course, she didn’t have the advantage of being born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Or maybe she did-xept that mine was bigger. I’m talking ‘bout the spoon of course.
She was however, making good progress. Fine, I’ll admit I was following.
I offered her the same thing I’d offered the Walrus. She, of course, refused. But she did design the line I’d asked for at a fair rate. Let’s be honest, for her work, I’d pay that much.
Eventually, when I came back to her a second time with my offer that she couldn’t refuse, she didn’t. But then, that was a lot later.
MJ will make you work for things, remember that.
….
I told Dharma, when I was in college, that I wanted to start a school for the blind. Naïve me, then had this idea that I’d start a school, that I’d spend a good portion of my earnings on it. I wanted to even the scales, you see.
And when I met Numa,again- after a pretty long time, that’s what I proposed to her. How did I meet her again?
I have this vision of you, and it’s always in rags, surrounded by little kids…and you’re helping them, and you’re happy….and they’re happy. You can try corporate for a while, but I bet that that’s where you’ll end up.
I know that child; it’s just that I feel that I’d like to see this world first. But don’t you worry, when I finally turn social, I’ll come to you, and you better help me.
You know I will, Numa. I always will.
And like she said, she came. And like I said, I helped.
Much later when I put the idea to her, she accepted. And she got a group of brilliant people together to do it as well. She didn’t actively head the school, mind. I didn’t expect her to. Eventually, she did though.
That is something I am incredibly proud of.
…….
And the rest is history really.
Oh wait, there was the kid. The kid was special. The thing that I’ll say about her, was that she was incredibly talented at seeing things in me, that I could not; in all honesty, I think those qualities don’t even exist in me. But still, she saw them.
And, whatever quality I may lack, the one quality I cherish, is that I don’t let down the people who have faith in me.
She was a business partner, and what she made possible was one of the biggest and earliest collaborations I had. It was incredible, what that little thing could achieve. As always I am grateful.
I am grateful to each one of them, actually; Individually and in infinite measure.
…..
Addendum 1:
Naturally, the guard saluted when the car passed. It was an impressive church, always had been; always will be. I was made more impressive by the hill that it rested on; perhaps God’s own way of raising His own.
He’d restored the church; and he’d done a lot more. The parish priest had received a proposal for renovation of the site. He’d refused at first. The church rejected the proposal as crass commercialism. A few years later, the arch-bishop changed; and the place had fallen to ruin by then….
The entire area stood transformed now. Music floated in the air. Families flocked there every Sunday; and while the elderly spent the day in prayer; the children played on the beautifully landscaped gardens. As I said, music floated in the air.
When I looked down on his family spread out on the lawn below, I couldn’t help but remember the words he’d said to me when we first met;
And departing leave behind us, Father,
Footprints in the sands of time. …..
Addendum 2:
You wouldn’t have liked it cos you’re so uptight.
Why are you always so…..reserved?
A self-imposed prison of control, eh ?
I had a closed fist in front of me, and suddenly, one day, I felt a small hand upon mine. Slowly, and to my surprise for I was quite strong, I felt little fingers work at my own, trying to open them.
It took a while; but, in the end, there were two hands- palms facing each other-
One large, and one….
Really tiny.
This last part was for you, you know that.
Poi saavu da.
That’s what he said, when I told him of my plan.
Here’s a translation of the rest;
I’ve my practice, I’m established; I’ve worked hard for this da and now you come in here (Just like you always do) and lay your idea on the table. No chance. Pick another guy. There are plenty of others in the city.
The rest ran on the same vein for a while.
But one thing I know about K, is that, like me, he likes a show.
Here’s my plan, I said. I want to start…..
And I want to do a series of them across the country. We will change the way this country sees entertainment. We’ll have them in every city. Every city will have one. They will be places where people can go to forget….and perhaps remember.
Money is no object. We will make a lot of money. I have a little money with which to start off with. And believe me, we will make a lot more. But I need you. You’re the only one who’s worked with me before. Heck, you’re the reason that the union ran for a year. Remember that? You know I need you.
We spoke for over three hours.
In the end, he agreed.
I knew he would in the end.
I think he knew it as well.
….
With K convinced, I knew I had done it. There was no possible way it could not work after that.
I spoke to the Snowman next. He’d had some experience of processes. I needed him to ensure that my organization ran smoother than a kid’s bottom. That’s what I told him.
Actually, it wasn’t strictly the truth. I needed the guy because he worked as hard as anyone I knew: harder, even. He was reliable, straight-forward; and he helped me see the lighter side of life.
I could also see a possible future venture for him to take up. I knew what he really wanted to do. It wasn’t that hard to figure.
I’m a genius, sometimes.
Oh alright, he told me. There, happy?
Biryani and beer, my friend. Biryani and beer.
……
What did I do after that?
I believe in fate. I seriously do. I believe, in the end, that I cannot lose. I Believe that God, or whatever it is you’d like to call him, brings people into our lives for a reason. And that everything, everything, fits together.
We started off on 2nd April 2016. There wasn’t any looking back after that.
I pulled in the Walrus for PR.
Go jump, son; he said. You are not doing this to me again. I did it in college, but I was younger then. I will not be a victim of your megalomaniacal tendencies, again, You can go rule the world, I’m happy designing good, clean ad material.
Remember Vox Populi, I said.
Typical.
See that’s precisely what I’m talking about. If I work for you, it will be the same thing all over again. You wanted a lion then, and you’ll want your face now.
Fine, Alright then.
Fine? You’re letting it go? Just like that. You’re losing your touch, son.
Look, I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse.
Sigh, take back what I just said.
I’ll invest in your company. I’ll put in this much of money, you run your company, no problem- just do my designing free.
The raised, skeptical eyebrows;
Exactly how much are we talking about here?
I told him.
I think Ben phrased it best, when he said later- Macha, Pradeep just wants to stand in front of a burning hoop and make lions jump at him, while he effortlessly swats them aside with his huge arms.
Right.
….
It was inevitable that I’d have MJ somewhere in there. One of the most promising kids I’ve seen. Smart and beautiful- What’s even worse, was that she knew it. And she knew how to use it too. Bugger her.
She’d just started off her company by then. Of course, she didn’t have the advantage of being born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Or maybe she did-xept that mine was bigger. I’m talking ‘bout the spoon of course.
She was however, making good progress. Fine, I’ll admit I was following.
I offered her the same thing I’d offered the Walrus. She, of course, refused. But she did design the line I’d asked for at a fair rate. Let’s be honest, for her work, I’d pay that much.
Eventually, when I came back to her a second time with my offer that she couldn’t refuse, she didn’t. But then, that was a lot later.
MJ will make you work for things, remember that.
….
I told Dharma, when I was in college, that I wanted to start a school for the blind. Naïve me, then had this idea that I’d start a school, that I’d spend a good portion of my earnings on it. I wanted to even the scales, you see.
And when I met Numa,again- after a pretty long time, that’s what I proposed to her. How did I meet her again?
I have this vision of you, and it’s always in rags, surrounded by little kids…and you’re helping them, and you’re happy….and they’re happy. You can try corporate for a while, but I bet that that’s where you’ll end up.
I know that child; it’s just that I feel that I’d like to see this world first. But don’t you worry, when I finally turn social, I’ll come to you, and you better help me.
You know I will, Numa. I always will.
And like she said, she came. And like I said, I helped.
Much later when I put the idea to her, she accepted. And she got a group of brilliant people together to do it as well. She didn’t actively head the school, mind. I didn’t expect her to. Eventually, she did though.
That is something I am incredibly proud of.
…….
And the rest is history really.
Oh wait, there was the kid. The kid was special. The thing that I’ll say about her, was that she was incredibly talented at seeing things in me, that I could not; in all honesty, I think those qualities don’t even exist in me. But still, she saw them.
And, whatever quality I may lack, the one quality I cherish, is that I don’t let down the people who have faith in me.
She was a business partner, and what she made possible was one of the biggest and earliest collaborations I had. It was incredible, what that little thing could achieve. As always I am grateful.
I am grateful to each one of them, actually; Individually and in infinite measure.
…..
Addendum 1:
Naturally, the guard saluted when the car passed. It was an impressive church, always had been; always will be. I was made more impressive by the hill that it rested on; perhaps God’s own way of raising His own.
He’d restored the church; and he’d done a lot more. The parish priest had received a proposal for renovation of the site. He’d refused at first. The church rejected the proposal as crass commercialism. A few years later, the arch-bishop changed; and the place had fallen to ruin by then….
The entire area stood transformed now. Music floated in the air. Families flocked there every Sunday; and while the elderly spent the day in prayer; the children played on the beautifully landscaped gardens. As I said, music floated in the air.
When I looked down on his family spread out on the lawn below, I couldn’t help but remember the words he’d said to me when we first met;
And departing leave behind us, Father,
Footprints in the sands of time. …..
Addendum 2:
You wouldn’t have liked it cos you’re so uptight.
Why are you always so…..reserved?
A self-imposed prison of control, eh ?
I had a closed fist in front of me, and suddenly, one day, I felt a small hand upon mine. Slowly, and to my surprise for I was quite strong, I felt little fingers work at my own, trying to open them.
It took a while; but, in the end, there were two hands- palms facing each other-
One large, and one….
Really tiny.
This last part was for you, you know that.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
The Lady That Owns Tomorrow.
Who shalt stand ‘fore flame.
Who shalt play my game.
Sing me a lullaby.
Who shalt be my verse in song,
Who shalt right, my every wrong.
Of tone, bought -sweat,
Of silence, death,
In God, I trust.
I must
Of tune, in set,
Of indrawn breath,
In her, I trust.
I shall.
She shall laugh, in summer;
Behold, there is summer;
She laughs.
From the end –behold,
Beginning, There is truth;
She knows.
White, a colour- ceasing never,
Till doth from bone, soul sever.
A slice of heaven, revel together,
To bare my soul, now forever.
Take my hand,
Lead me on.
Shield me, I pray,
Take my hand,
Lead me on.
Shield me, I pray,
From night to morn.
I will wait, and live,
I will wait to live, what's mine to give
All i own, all I am,
All I will be.
All i can.
Lying in this empty hollow,
Lying, un-won,
Still lying in this empty hollow.
For the lady that owns tomorrow.
Who shalt play my game.
Sing me a lullaby.
Who shalt be my verse in song,
Who shalt right, my every wrong.
Of tone, bought -sweat,
Of silence, death,
In God, I trust.
I must
Of tune, in set,
Of indrawn breath,
In her, I trust.
I shall.
She shall laugh, in summer;
Behold, there is summer;
She laughs.
From the end –behold,
Beginning, There is truth;
She knows.
White, a colour- ceasing never,
Till doth from bone, soul sever.
A slice of heaven, revel together,
To bare my soul, now forever.
Take my hand,
Lead me on.
Shield me, I pray,
Take my hand,
Lead me on.
Shield me, I pray,
From night to morn.
I will wait, and live,
I will wait to live, what's mine to give
All i own, all I am,
All I will be.
All i can.
Lying in this empty hollow,
Lying, un-won,
Still lying in this empty hollow.
For the lady that owns tomorrow.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
The Cottage on a hill
It shows us what we want? Whatever we want?
Yes, and no. It shows us, nothing more nor less, than the deepest darkest most desperate desire of our hearts.
It was an empty room. And there was a mirror in that empty room. The mirror, of course was the Mirror of Erised. And as young Anna stood in front of the mirror, she saw…
She saw a man. He was tall, you could see that, though he sat in a chair by a fireside. He was reading a book. Anna could make out the title- it said” The Mill on the Floss”. There was a window by the man, and through it you could see lovely views- the most beautiful hill sides ever imagined; lush flowing, rolling greenery.
A dog barked in the distance.
Anna could see the warmth emanating from the man; he had such a lovely smile. And such a lovely, deep booming laugh. He laughed as she watched him; probably at something he had read. His smile was perfect, revealing a perfect set of white teeth. His hair was beautiful as well You could see he took pride in his appearance; his clothes matched perfectly-highlighting a perfect frame.
All in all, a perfect man.
She could almost imagine a life with him; he’d take her to dinner-he’d open every door for her; he’d be courteous, warm and dignified. He’d take her to the movies; he’d take her all over the world. He would be smart, intelligent, funny. He’d have a job (She didn’t really care too much what he did) that would earn him a lot of money, but wouldn’t keep him employed for too long. He’d be oh-so-talented(she was sure). He would play several instruments, he would sing a beautiful mellow-yet-strong bass, he would write her beautiful poetry and be ever-so-romantic and gentle. He’d never leave her, nor ever let her down. He would never harm her; nor ever let her be harmed. He would lay down his life for her.
She could see that he lived in a beautiful castle.
He was the man she would marry.
…
Of course, she never married him.
…
When we were young; we held so many beautiful dreams. We believed that they would happen too. And often enough, the world “teaches” us “better”; the world “teaches” us to temper our dreams with reality.
….
I wonder….is this a good thing?
I don’t intend to let go of my dreams.
Omni ope atque opera.
Yes, and no. It shows us, nothing more nor less, than the deepest darkest most desperate desire of our hearts.
It was an empty room. And there was a mirror in that empty room. The mirror, of course was the Mirror of Erised. And as young Anna stood in front of the mirror, she saw…
She saw a man. He was tall, you could see that, though he sat in a chair by a fireside. He was reading a book. Anna could make out the title- it said” The Mill on the Floss”. There was a window by the man, and through it you could see lovely views- the most beautiful hill sides ever imagined; lush flowing, rolling greenery.
A dog barked in the distance.
Anna could see the warmth emanating from the man; he had such a lovely smile. And such a lovely, deep booming laugh. He laughed as she watched him; probably at something he had read. His smile was perfect, revealing a perfect set of white teeth. His hair was beautiful as well You could see he took pride in his appearance; his clothes matched perfectly-highlighting a perfect frame.
All in all, a perfect man.
She could almost imagine a life with him; he’d take her to dinner-he’d open every door for her; he’d be courteous, warm and dignified. He’d take her to the movies; he’d take her all over the world. He would be smart, intelligent, funny. He’d have a job (She didn’t really care too much what he did) that would earn him a lot of money, but wouldn’t keep him employed for too long. He’d be oh-so-talented(she was sure). He would play several instruments, he would sing a beautiful mellow-yet-strong bass, he would write her beautiful poetry and be ever-so-romantic and gentle. He’d never leave her, nor ever let her down. He would never harm her; nor ever let her be harmed. He would lay down his life for her.
She could see that he lived in a beautiful castle.
He was the man she would marry.
…
Of course, she never married him.
…
When we were young; we held so many beautiful dreams. We believed that they would happen too. And often enough, the world “teaches” us “better”; the world “teaches” us to temper our dreams with reality.
….
I wonder….is this a good thing?
I don’t intend to let go of my dreams.
Omni ope atque opera.
Eleanor Rigby
Algorithm:
What do you want?
….
(Store in A)
Why do you want it?
….
(Store in B)
What are the consequences?
…
(Store in C)
Is B>C
Then A.
Else
Screw this whole exercise. You’re wasting your time with A.
All the lonely people, where do they all come from?
All the lonely people, where do they all belong?
http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
We are all afraid aren’t we? Afraid of society; afraid of rejection.
Who among you has the courage to bare your heart? To go up to the person you love and say so? I do. I did too; and it locked me in a happy, self-imposed prison.(Author’s note: Not really. But its funny and at times convenient to say that it did. In reality- it sets you free; really) Now, you try.
But…no. There’s convention; there’s ego (there’s always ego);; there’s fear, there’s insecurity.
I’ve advice my friend- take all that and stuff it where the sun don’t shine.
Life’s way too short to sit around waiting for something. Take a shot. Yes, you may fail; yes you may bleed for a while; but you’ll recover. It’s not about how many times you get hit and fall but how many times you get back up. I think Rocky said that.
If you want something- go out and get it. If you want someone- go out and get them. Show me the girl who goes after what she wants and I will show you my kind of woman. Do not live in the hell of a friendship-in-the-hope-that-someday….
Someday won’t come.
Take my word for it.
Someday won’t come.
But what if I’m not good enough?
Never let anyone convince you that you are not good enough for the person you love. I saw that in a rather silly movie once.
What if she says no? Well good then, yeah? Least you’ve got that out of the way. Tell me, do you particularly enjoy doing drugs? ‘Cos that’s what you’re doing now. You’re living in a happy haze; because you are too afraid to live, to love. Here’s what’s going to happen to you:
She’d always been there for him. In all his pictures, you could see her. Standing in the corner; standing along with his friends; smiling her slightly-sad, fake little smile.
Five years later:
She’s still there in all the pictures; only she’s marginally closer now; marginally.
Another five years later:
She’s pretty close now; only two people between him and her in the picture.
Five years later:
It’s his wedding picture; she’s there.
Only, she isn’t the wife.
….
You want to know her name eh?
I don’t really remember.
….
I think it was Eleanor Rigby.
What do you want?
….
(Store in A)
Why do you want it?
….
(Store in B)
What are the consequences?
…
(Store in C)
Is B>C
Then A.
Else
Screw this whole exercise. You’re wasting your time with A.
All the lonely people, where do they all come from?
All the lonely people, where do they all belong?
http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
We are all afraid aren’t we? Afraid of society; afraid of rejection.
Who among you has the courage to bare your heart? To go up to the person you love and say so? I do. I did too; and it locked me in a happy, self-imposed prison.(Author’s note: Not really. But its funny and at times convenient to say that it did. In reality- it sets you free; really) Now, you try.
But…no. There’s convention; there’s ego (there’s always ego);; there’s fear, there’s insecurity.
I’ve advice my friend- take all that and stuff it where the sun don’t shine.
Life’s way too short to sit around waiting for something. Take a shot. Yes, you may fail; yes you may bleed for a while; but you’ll recover. It’s not about how many times you get hit and fall but how many times you get back up. I think Rocky said that.
If you want something- go out and get it. If you want someone- go out and get them. Show me the girl who goes after what she wants and I will show you my kind of woman. Do not live in the hell of a friendship-in-the-hope-that-someday….
Someday won’t come.
Take my word for it.
Someday won’t come.
But what if I’m not good enough?
Never let anyone convince you that you are not good enough for the person you love. I saw that in a rather silly movie once.
What if she says no? Well good then, yeah? Least you’ve got that out of the way. Tell me, do you particularly enjoy doing drugs? ‘Cos that’s what you’re doing now. You’re living in a happy haze; because you are too afraid to live, to love. Here’s what’s going to happen to you:
She’d always been there for him. In all his pictures, you could see her. Standing in the corner; standing along with his friends; smiling her slightly-sad, fake little smile.
Five years later:
She’s still there in all the pictures; only she’s marginally closer now; marginally.
Another five years later:
She’s pretty close now; only two people between him and her in the picture.
Five years later:
It’s his wedding picture; she’s there.
Only, she isn’t the wife.
….
You want to know her name eh?
I don’t really remember.
….
I think it was Eleanor Rigby.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Protected
I loved what he did, although I never told him that.
We'd been out for a year when it happened. It was a normal enough monday- just like any other day. I reached college around eight. As i made my way to the room, I could already see him there in my mind. He was always there at 7:50 in the morning;always. He'd be at his table, texting on his phone or looking at something on his laptop.
And sure enough, there he was.
Hey beautiful.
Hey you.
He was looking at something on his laptop. He didn't look up as I entered..
Lots of work?
His brow crinkled.
Isn't there always.
It wasn't phrased as a question.
The day went on pretty much as usual. That is, until break.
To be perfectly fair- I think he started it. He'd been having a bad day since morning and it looked to be getting a lot worse.
The argument started as most arguments seem to start between men - over who had the bigger penis. He wanted X to do some work for him, and X had refused; citing (in his opinion) a rather silly excuse. The usual verbal sparring began from there.Various expletives were used and various insults were thrown. Parentages were questioned.
"All so that you can spend your blasted time canoodling with that annoying and flat-out ugly whore of yours!".
Everything went still. I turned cold. X had forgotten that I was in the room as well.
What did you say.
You heard well enough.
The world stopped for a microsecond; poised on the edge of a cliff.
He fell on X. And when I say fell, I mean in the most basest, and primal sort of way. He wasn't a big boy; in truth X was a lot bigger. But I don't think X had fully appreciated the ferocity of the attack that his words would bring down.
He rained blow after ablow on the poor fellow, By the time X had mustered enough of his senses to mount any sort of defence, he was already on the floor with a bleeding lip, a black eye...
and a broken arm.
It took three of the others to pull him off X.
But by then the damage was done.
And that was that.
......
Of course, he spent several days in detention. I daresay how he wangled his way out of that would make for an interesting story. (He usually does, you know. Wangle his way out, I mean).
And of course there was a huge hoo-haa about it all.
Did i like him the more for it?
I still can't quite make up my mind.
Yes, every woman wants to feel protected, but there was a ferocity there that was almost scary.....
and there was the broken arm.
We'd been out for a year when it happened. It was a normal enough monday- just like any other day. I reached college around eight. As i made my way to the room, I could already see him there in my mind. He was always there at 7:50 in the morning;always. He'd be at his table, texting on his phone or looking at something on his laptop.
And sure enough, there he was.
Hey beautiful.
Hey you.
He was looking at something on his laptop. He didn't look up as I entered..
Lots of work?
His brow crinkled.
Isn't there always.
It wasn't phrased as a question.
The day went on pretty much as usual. That is, until break.
To be perfectly fair- I think he started it. He'd been having a bad day since morning and it looked to be getting a lot worse.
The argument started as most arguments seem to start between men - over who had the bigger penis. He wanted X to do some work for him, and X had refused; citing (in his opinion) a rather silly excuse. The usual verbal sparring began from there.Various expletives were used and various insults were thrown. Parentages were questioned.
"All so that you can spend your blasted time canoodling with that annoying and flat-out ugly whore of yours!".
Everything went still. I turned cold. X had forgotten that I was in the room as well.
What did you say.
You heard well enough.
The world stopped for a microsecond; poised on the edge of a cliff.
He fell on X. And when I say fell, I mean in the most basest, and primal sort of way. He wasn't a big boy; in truth X was a lot bigger. But I don't think X had fully appreciated the ferocity of the attack that his words would bring down.
He rained blow after ablow on the poor fellow, By the time X had mustered enough of his senses to mount any sort of defence, he was already on the floor with a bleeding lip, a black eye...
and a broken arm.
It took three of the others to pull him off X.
But by then the damage was done.
And that was that.
......
Of course, he spent several days in detention. I daresay how he wangled his way out of that would make for an interesting story. (He usually does, you know. Wangle his way out, I mean).
And of course there was a huge hoo-haa about it all.
Did i like him the more for it?
I still can't quite make up my mind.
Yes, every woman wants to feel protected, but there was a ferocity there that was almost scary.....
and there was the broken arm.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Kids these days
There are very few people in the world that I'm actually fond of. Most people I tolerate; and most other people don't register on my radar.
Now, my ten- year old cousin is one on the list of people I'm fond of. And it so happened that i called her yesterday- it being her birthday.
Here's a rough excerpt of our conversation:
Hey Nina.
Hey.
Happy Birthday.
Thank you.
So...um...what did you do today?
Nothing much.
Nothing Much? Didn't you cut a cake?
Yeah. i did.
And...? Tell me about it! (People who know me must be staring in wonder right about now. I rarely ask questions. i missed the "Socials" class while growing up).
It was a chocolate cake.
That's the only kind worth having isn't it? So .... what shape was it? Barbie Shaped? Robot Shaped?
Nope.
It was square-shaped.
Hey- why didn't you have a cake in a shape? i love cakes in shapes!
Pause.
i'm ten years old.
Right.
Um. Ok
Kids these days.
Oh and by the way, I grew out of barbies a long while ago.
Right.
Now, my ten- year old cousin is one on the list of people I'm fond of. And it so happened that i called her yesterday- it being her birthday.
Here's a rough excerpt of our conversation:
Hey Nina.
Hey.
Happy Birthday.
Thank you.
So...um...what did you do today?
Nothing much.
Nothing Much? Didn't you cut a cake?
Yeah. i did.
And...? Tell me about it! (People who know me must be staring in wonder right about now. I rarely ask questions. i missed the "Socials" class while growing up).
It was a chocolate cake.
That's the only kind worth having isn't it? So .... what shape was it? Barbie Shaped? Robot Shaped?
Nope.
It was square-shaped.
Hey- why didn't you have a cake in a shape? i love cakes in shapes!
Pause.
i'm ten years old.
Right.
Um. Ok
Kids these days.
Oh and by the way, I grew out of barbies a long while ago.
Right.
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