The Dragon's Heart.

With blood shot eyes I watch you sleeping
The warmth I feel beside me is slowly fading.

I place a hand on your face.

And I wonder,

Would you hear me, if I call your name
Would you hold me, if you knew my shame.

You would?

Hold me then, and know my pain.

I am different inside. I am like no one I have ever met. Ever heard people say, the brighter the picture, the darker the negative?
It was written for me.
You know how bright my picture is;but do you know how dark my negative is?
You cannot begin to imagine.

Here's a story.

There was once a dragon. He was good, mighty and strong. There was none like him in all the land. He flew over the villages by day, protecting the villagers, helping those in need, maintaining law, preaching the good news, being the hero.And by night..?

No one saw him.

The dragon flew into the forest, and the villagers saw him not from sunset to sunrise.

Now, there was one little girl who fell in love with the dragon. Everyday she would wait for him to rise, and every sunset she would watch sadly as he flew away.

He flies away far too early, she thought.

This happened for a year.
And then, one day, she decided to follow the dragon.

....
As the sun began to set, the girl followed the dragon. How she managed to keep pace with a flying beast is not told.
Love gives you wings, they say.

She followed him deep into the forest, past the bog, the cold, and past all manner of forest creatures
She followed him, until finally, she came upon a big cave.
She went in.
.....

The girl spent five nights in the cave. And then she ran from that place, never to return. What she saw there she refused to tell anyone.
.....

When i finally tracked down Isabella, she was quite old. I heard her story, as I have put it down here. And then I asked her the question I am sure she must have been asked several times before,

What did you see?

I can't tell you that.

Why not?

Why is it important for you to know.

Silence.

I told her.

I've been married for a year now.My husband is a wonderful man. In fact,I would go as far as saying, he is the epitome of a perfect man. But after a year of being married to him; I am convinced that there is something he is not telling me. He speaks openly enough. And yet, at times, it feels like he's speaking in code. I tracked down every woman he's ever been with:they all told me the same thing.

He keeps secrets.

Finally, unable to take my pleading, he told me (what he sincerely believes) is the reason he will not, cannot, share.

The brighter the picture, the darker the negative.

...

That's it?

That's it. That's all he said. And that's all he would say.

And what makes you think my answer will help you understand what your husband told you?

Call it a woman's intuition, Isabella.

There was silence after that.

...

There are things in this world dear, that people hardly speak of- but are aware of all the time. Among these is something I call Aura. It is the image of a man-that which enters a room before he does, and that which fills the room when he unleashes his spirit. Have you ever seen an artist grow to fill every pore of the space he performs in? The dragon had the strongest aura I had ever seen. Far greater than any man- but then again, he was no man to begin with.

Our auras make us likest Gods.

Now, what these auras do is this- they ensnare people. They spin out, through whispered conversations and overblown exaggerations, until they ensnare everyone. And the person they ensnare most of all-

Is the one to whom they belong.

They ensnare the person so much that that person starts to fear, with a terrible and uncontrollable fear,the smallest of things that will tarnish his aura, and expose that which is human beneath.

Everyone hates to find that their idol has clay feet. But my child, think on this, every idol has clay feet.

You husband has nothing terrible to hide from you.
He is afraid of what you would say should you see beyond his aura.

That's bullshi*. My husband cannot be afraid of sharing things with his own wife.

Perhaps dear child, he has shared before, and the little girl ran away when she saw the dragon's heart.

Two things I will tell you-

The first is this;
Even the Gods bleed, but they prefer to bleed in private. Or in the company of those that will not run when they see the blood

The second is this:
Your husband wakes up sweating in the night, often.

....

I said nothing then,

It was true.